This Game of Life!

I scowl at passers-by when my mind tells me to smile.

So, are my thoughts your thoughts?

I want to encourage those who carry sadness, but I say not a word.

So, are my thoughts your thoughts?

I want to hug the sunken shoulders of broken dreams, but I keep on drivin'.

So, are my thoughts your thoughts?

I want to rearrange the wrinkles of a distorted self-image, but I project the same scowl.

So, are my thoughts your thoughts?

I see beauty, but I remain betrothed to silence of being rejected.

So, are my thoughts your thoughts?

The thought is not what counts.

The execution by action in unconditional love is what counts.

So, are my non-actions my self-destructing thoughts?

Patiently Waiting... Whisper that I am Beautiful!

Driving down the road here in Franklin, TN

There is this picture before me

I am racing to my next errand

as I frantically soak up all that is at hand

Somewhere in between the time

there is a place that my heart stops to rest

A blink and it's gone

I am patiently waiting for You

I am feverishly searching for You

as I strive to be beautiful

I am patiently waiting for You

I am ineffectively changing for You

as I wait to be told that I am beautiful

I walk up the stairwell to work here in Nashville, TN

There's a dream set ahead of me

I pace between tasks

as I long to reach my next potential

Somewhere inside of the passing hours

there is a space that buffers the frantic

A breath and it dissipates

I am patiently waiting for You

I am feverishly searching for You

as I strive to be beautiful

I am patiently waiting for You

I am ineffectively changing for You

as I wait to be told that I am beautiful

Please whisper to me that I am Beautiful!

Chasm of Unanswers - Waiting for the Obverse?

I find myself at a place of smitten. He is sweet and absolutely hysterical. I am serious, but I love to laugh. He is rather brilliant and completely adorable. I am academically inclined, but I prefer the spiritual. He is privy to the things of the Spirit - the deeper things of God. This I appreciate, but my spirit is wrestling. I am not sure with what as it goes between two. Is this You or is this my jaded goggles telling me to put him under a magnifying glass. He thinks I am the fairest of them all. I feel like a princess. I mean I know I am a princess, but now I am held as one in the natural. Therefore, is he for real or must I stick him unconditionally under a magnifying glass. I will lose him if I do this, but if I do not I might be devastated. He preached in his past and now he writes. Beautiful is how I feel when I am with him. Am I selling myself short? Am I settling? Everyone else says I am and they even go so far as to deliver terrible information about him. One in particular says he has 'beauties' all over town despite never having met him. Is that discernment or is that judgment? Is that based on truth or based on assumption of his actions toward me and the patterns of man's past in such circumstances? Priceless is how I feel when I am with him. Am I being manipulated? Am I settling? Am I selling out? I seek HIS face in the night, HIS face in the morning. Yet I think about him all day and analyze whether or not HE is telling me 'NO'. I am blurred! I am unsure! Do the superficial 'red flags' dictate or do those I trust dictate. they point out the superficial or the things they sense in their 'spirit'. Yet in the past this has served my world pain. Do I continue with what is fun with what feels right, but wrong at the same time. Is it wrong because HE says so or because of fear? YIKES. This madness must come to a halt!!!!!!!!!!!!! Do I move forward with him or are YOU telling me 'no'. Is fear telling me no by means of ultimate lifelong sabotage? I want to soar and love another as HE loves me, but it just......??????????? Is he right for me just based on his heart, his sweetness, his character? Is he for me or against me? Will YOU please tell me! Shut it down or keep it breathing! What do YOU want for me? I wait.

A Royal Covenant... Signed, Sealed, Supernatural

Psalm 45:10-11 Listen to me, O royal daughter; take to heart what I say. Forget your people and your homeland far away. For your royal husband delights in your beauty; honor him, for he is your Lord. She crys in the day. She weeps in the night. She analyzes in the light. She tosses in the dark. She inquires endlessly while awake. She dreams hopefully while asleep. She screams amidst it all. She wants to turn it off, but she does not know how! She questions in solidarity. She daydreams in community. She avoids connection. She desires relationship. She saves face often. She resolves to relate rarely. She reached out... She is reminded of her royalty. Does One really consider her as an entire beauty? You are enthralled with my beauty! You have wrapped me in Heaven's Delight! You want all of me for yourself. She saves face often. She resolves to relate rarely. She reached out... She is reminded of her royalty. Do You want me for Your purposes as an entire beauty? You count me as priceless. You treat me as a precious jewel. You eagerly catch all my tears. She saves face often. She resolves to relate rarely. She reached out... She is reminded of her royalty. Do You truly have a great destiny for me as an entire beauty? You dream abundant dreams for me. You paint breathtaking experiences around me. You patiently wait for your bride. She saves face often. She resolves to relate rarely. She reached out... She is reminded of her royalty. Do You promise to celebrate and cry with me as an entire beauty? You are pierced by my pain. You are overwhelmed with my joyful laughter. You are one with this fragile and warring bride. She continues to save face. She proceeds to relate rarely. She is reaching out more often... Reaching out reminds her of her royalty.