I do not know...superlative?

to where do I find serenity? Where shall I station a heart deteriorating by way of uncertainty? My Supreme Couturier fatigued with my fatal skepticism. I find myself backsliding as I abort the gift of faith....superlative? Is it? Really? These inquiries splatter my waking hours with examination by frustration nourished in distrust....Trust, is it a supernatural superlative? Trust? Peace? Might one be the result of another? How do I know as I drowned attempting to wade into life amidst the turbulence of depression and anorexia meeting as the crashing of bitter waves. Now, this present struggle....this apparent squall of distance, love, trust, peace, frustration, patience...that's the real contention! she is as impatient as the fashion industry. She is steadfast and unchanging in her hearts desire, yet at the same time, she is victim to her wants. Does she need him? She would hassle to prove that she does, but does she really or does she yield to a self-centered want? Only her Creator has the 'ending' at His fingertips. She wants the outcome at her arms reach. She must release control. She leisurely kills her true Master Designed being. No longer does he observe characteristics of a woman at peace in her Creator. He observes chaos...he is remained in unadulterated befuddlement. She is screaming for his commitment to love her forever, but he is frightened to let go and let God escort him into a divine appointment. Grant her patience...grant her peace,but most of all grant him clarity to embark upon the most astounding and blessed journey of all. A man and woman as one unit racing to Him while overflowing with His love upon all within the path referred to as life. That's a superlative...a relationship ordained in Christ and surpassing 'NORMAL'!!! She is patience in Christ even though the unseen must become the seen. To where shall I find peace in patience?